When im sick

I need a hug.

Lirik Awan Nano – Hafiz AF7

Lihat ke arah sana
Serakan warna dan berarakan
Awan
Pabila terik panas
Segera hadirnya memayungi diri

Pabila kau dahaga
Sesegera turun hujan melimpahkan kasihnya
Pabila kau katakan
Akulah awan itu yang kau mahu

Begitulah awan nano
Setia melindungi diri
Tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu


Begitulah awan nano
Sering saja tak terduga hadir
Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihnya
Kasih tiada banding
Setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua

Awan kekasih sebenarmu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Lihat diriku ini
Yang sesekali pernah kau bagaikan awan
Sehingga tak mungkin terlupa
Berikan belas sedari dulu

Sehingga tak mungkin termampu saksi
Setitis pun air matamu kasihku
Sehingga kau katakan
Akulah awan itu yang kau rindu

Akulah awanmu yang sedia
Melindungi dirimu tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu

Akulah awanmu yang sering kau rindu
Dan tak terduga hadirmu walau tak tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku
Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua
Aku pelindung dirimu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Begitulah awan nano
Setia melindungi diri tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano
Sering saja tak terduga hadir
Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku
Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua
Aku pelindung dirimu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Everything happens for a reason

I really believe this. And this belief has release me from extra burden and stress. I used to be stressed and frustrated if what i had carefully planned does not happen they way i think it would. But now i just try to accept it. Because we as human cam just plan, but Allah will determine how it will be. So i think its better for me to just plan as usual, try my hardest, pray for the best. Cause He knows what it best for me.

Im so glad that i was born as in an Islam family. In this kind of world, its full of temptation that im not sure i can handle by myself.

Im weak. I need support. Im praying that i'll be stronger day by day to stop whatever wrongful act that im doing. Its an ongoing effort. Its not easy, but its not impossible. I dont know how long do i have to correct myself, but i hope it'll enough.

I dont mind if i die young, but i really hope that im prepared. Sometimes i wonder what have i done in this 24 years of my life. All the precious time that i wasted. All the things ive done. All the goods and the bads.

I need to change a lot of things. Im doing this slowly, but sometime it scares me that i dont know when my time is due.

Dear little blog

I dont have that many readers, in fact i dont think i really have any beside myself. Thats not the point. Because i am blogging just to spill stuffs thats overflowing in my head or heart or both. Sometimes writing blog gives me a sense of relief.

Maybe im stress about something. But i dont blog about it. I blog about something else that does not even related to my problem in hand. But when u blog, i feel calmer. Maybe because there's no stress factor whatsoever.

Sometimes i imagine growin old and i will read this blog to remind me of my younger self. About who i was, who i used to be. Cause i personally believe everybody will change over time. In one way or another. And i pray that i change positively.

There are things that i want to do. So bad. But i hesitate because i think it is a pretty drastic change. I dont really care about what others think if me, but i am more concern whether i can continue what i started. I am building my courage. Finding my inner self. Lets all pray that it will turn out great.

Away from hometown, back to town.

Sayunya... T.T naik je bas, terus nangis. Adoi segan dengan orang2 tepi. Nasib baik seat single. Tak tau kenapa hari ni sedih lebih.. Huhu maybe sebab spend time lama kat rumah. Sedihnya.

Semoga selamat perjalanan ni. And semoga selamat perjalanan abah balik rumah. Sayang abah.

Fishing but no fish

Okay. We did go fishing. Sadly we didnt caught any. Since fishing is a very tiring thing to do, we took a break and had lunch. Its tiring alright. Cause we have to keep quiet. Do have any idea how hard i try to refrain myself from talking? So, we went to the seafood restaurant and ordered a lot. Ikan siakap masak stim, sotong goreng tepung, udang goreng tepung, kangkung ikan masin, telur dadar and rice of course. So its a full table. And extremely full stomach afterwards.

Later, we went to nearest surau for asar while charging our phones simultaneously. Then, fish some more. Still no fish. I dont think i have any skill whatsoever when it comes to fishing. To kill the times, my siblings and i played 'guess the meaning of the word'. That kept us occupied for a good half an hour.

Okay, gave up. We packed and get ready to leave. Oh and the toilet there is like a mini toilet, its so small as if its for kiddies. Sigh.

Next stop, beach. Wanna take pictures. Will update later. Bubye.

Hometown

Balik kampung always best. Dapat spend time with parents and siblings and Dodi the neighbour's cat. They left the cat with us because they went to their hometown. See, everybody is going back to their respective hometown. Hmm that explains the 6 hour journey home that usually takes only half the time.

Nevertheless, the experience meeting my family is so much fun as usual. We all talk and talk and talk some more. Sharing stories. Even if the stories are not funny at all, they always end up being hilarious. Maybe because the way they are told or because we always have a funny twist to everything. Sometimes our friends might not get it, but we always do. Thats the fun of being in close knit, we understands each other.

Now we are in a mini road trip to Taiping. To go fishing. Haha sounds funny already ;p. But we just arrived an havent start fishing. Just watch others fishing. Done jamak qasar, i am blogging. Still no signs that we are fishing whatsoever. Haha. Will update soon.

Crazy jam

Ohmaigod! Jam like craaayyyyzayyyy.. Im on my way to my hometown now. From kl to ipoh shouldnt take me this long. But the trafic is unbelievable. Thank God fot the invention of Iphone or i have to face the possibility to collapse out of severe boredom. Its seriously slow moving. And the cars around me are the same cars for many kilometres. Since we are still stuck here, i might as well introduce myself to people in nearby cars and have a conversation to kill each other's boredom.

Im sleepy. But im sooooo hungry that its hard to fall asleep. Cant wait to reach home and feast on the home-made cuisine. *salivating* *wipe it away* dang. Its already 3.5 hours and we're nowhere near ipoh. I bring kara's book and Adam Khoo's book but im not in reading mode right now. This instance, all i want is food. I cant believe i forgot to bring some food / snacks. Its so unlike me. I always bring tons of food for travelling since im hungry almost every hour or so. Today i didnt bring anything. Thanks to my housemate who gave me some kinder bueno..

We're still crawling now. Not literally. But i think if i literally crawl on the road, it will be faster that in vehicle. I pray to Allah that the traffic will be better. And also that everybody on the road will arrive safely and no car get any problem, and no accident and those who already in trouble, i pray that it will be solved shortly. Amin.

Im no 17

The official result of mizuno run is out. I got no17 out of 615 runners in women open category. Timing for 10km ia 53:47.

I was okay with the results since it was hilly. But now im injured.. My knee and my lower back. Maybe cause i tackle the downhill in the wrong way. Im not sure. It just hurts. And when i pray, there's popping sounds on the knee joint. Scary. Im resting now until it heals. Its been 5days since i last run. Huhu. Its for the best. I have to fight the temptation to run.

Mizuno wave run 2012 at UPM

This is my first time ever that i join a Mizuno Run. Since i cant find the route, i surfed to get runners reports of the previous one. They said its hilly. And damn how true that is.

So i arrived early this morning, with my friend. We parked at 9km mark so its 1km uphill to go to starting line. I slow jogged. Then i warmed up bla bla bla. I started from the third line. I was pushed hard that i went out of the timing mat. I tried to get back in the sea of people. Still didnt know if it detected my timing chip :(

I started quite okay, listening to my playlist and the coach from adidas micoach apps. Truly helpful. I set a workout and it told when i should speed up or slow down based on the pace that is set. For example my blue zone is from pace 10:06 to 5:42 minute/km. And my green zone is from 5:42 to 4:22 minute/km. My workout for today is an hour workout. 5 minutes in blue zone, 50 minutes in green zone and finish with 5 minutes in blue zone.

After the first 5 min i have to maintain a pace faster than 5:42. If i am not running in this zone, the coach will tell me. And he will also tell me that i have reached a quarter, half n three quarter of the workout. Nice huh?. And i also put a setting where he will read my stat every 1km. The stats include the km, the time since i started, the pace, the zone im in and the target zone. But you can set what you want it to read or when. Sounds like a review for Adidas MiCoach iphone apps.

Oh did i mentioned i forgot to stop the time after i arrive? Dang. I arrived, they told me im not in top 10 position, get frustrated, held back tears, took off shoes, threw up, oh THEN i remembered and stop the timing. So i dont know my exact time. have to wait for the result to came out in the net.

I stopped the timing at 54 min plus. But i think i actually arrived at around 52 min plus.. Thats good enough for this race cause of the killer hills. So my next 10k i must n must get sub-50 minutes. InsyaAllah.

Today, there are some foreigners. So i still cant compete with them. Obviously. They train twice a day. I train once a day :(

Hmm this gets me thinking. I want to win so badly. Should i train like them to win like them? But its a HUGE commitment for me. I have to wake up super early to run. Then get ready for class at 830. Go home at 4 or 6, depends on the schedule. Then run again for evening session. At night, study, assignment and teach upsr kids. Repeat for 5 days per week. Uh oh. Im not quite ready yet.

Im tired. Gonna doze off. My knee hurts so bad, so im gonna take 2 days off to rest and let it heal. Bye all.

Its officially 2012.

And im so thrilled. Cant wait to fill new stories to a brand new year. I wanna do better in everything this year. I know i will have to sacrifice certain thing in order to be successful in the areas that i want, but im willing to do it. Lets pray that i manage to juggle all my responsibilities nicely. And when things get hard, lets pray that i stay strong, do my very best and everything will work out fine. Amin. Talking about pray, have u solat isya'?

Kehidupan yang lalu

Tajuk pelik. Whatever la. As long as im happy with it and no one is offended. In less than 3 hours, its gonna be a whole new year. It wont be 2011 anymore, so 2011 will be my 'kehidupan yang lalu'. Why so dramatic? Because there's many memories, good and not-so-good that happens in 2011. Where there are some that i am really really proud of and some that um.. Not so much. So im just gonna leave it all behind, and keep moving towarda the future. I will keep everything safely tucked at the back of my mind and starts a new and improved year. I want to be a better person (in my own standards) and im gonna take full responsibilities of myself. Yes i will.

I am going to be 25years old in 2012. That means im gonna be a quarter of a century! Wow. InsyaAllah. But sometimes i wonder about certain thing. I am the kind of person who over analyze and over prepared. For example, when i wanna go watch a movie, i'll check the showtimes, how many minutes will it be, the reviews and all. But what about for my afterlife? I dont think i am over prepared. In fact i dont think im prepared at all. If i die tomorrow, what will i bring... Have to think deep and hard.

Off with a bad start.

Nothing more to say.

Superwoman

My mom is a superwoman. Gosh i really miss her. Not because she's not around. Its me that's always busy. I always have all these activities. But i try as much as possible to be home. I love you Mom. Im glad you are my mom. I promise i wanna make you happy. I know you would be thrilled if any of your kids get excellent results in uni. So, considering next semester is my final sem of degree, ive made it my major goal to get all A. It wont be easy, obviously. But it's not impossible either. It will be tough for me to juggle everything because every WEEK i have:
-7 subjects to study
-28 hours of lecture
-2 nights of teaching UPSR students
-3 sessions of marathon training
-1 or 2 races
It will be hectic. But i am strong and active. I believe i can do this. I always like this motto:

"Aim for the sky, cause if you fall, you'll reach the clouds"

So, i aim high. And i strive really hard and i sacrifice things in order to reach my aims and goals. When i finally reach it, its a feeling if satisfaction that no one can give. Only me and myself.

Switched at birth

Not me. God no. Its the tv show on Star World. Tonight is the first night i watched it. Its actually okay. Very interesting. Im really glad that it doesnt happen to me though.

What i did on Jan 1st 2012?

Woke up and get ready.
Ate breakfast at kfc.
Went to mid valley.
Bought black wedges at vincci.
Renew padini card.
Kasut putus.
Wore new shoes.
Watched Jack&Jill. So funny.
Survey skirt. Like one. No stock.
Want to buy kara goucher's book at MPH. Not enough time.
Bought gelato fruity. Raspberry. Yum.
Went back. Jam.
Ate nasi kamdar at hakim. Half portion.
Sent kakak to bus stop.
Got home. Door knob prob.
Went out again to buy new one.
Cancel gym session.
Settled the knob.
Watched news with room mate, sis n ain.
Take shower. Went out again.